The ‘cookie” according to Steve Harvey is the woman’s prize possession (her v-jay-jay), or love, or sex spot. Also noted by Steve Harvey is the 90-day rule that states women should wait 90 days before they let anyone into their “cookie” jar.
Yet in the context of being the ultimate Econista, I’ve determined that the organic cookie, is a woman’s natural, innate, and pure right to love and cultivate love, without social constraints or norms.
Furthermore, I believe the 90 day prescription by Steve Harvey — withholding your “cookies” isn’t a magical pill that converts your prospective date into a loving loyal puppy. In fact, if you make the decision to sleep with your date on the 91st day, they can leave you—with the entire 90 days of “respect” they’ve developed for you. and be gone.”
“We must be careful not to confuse people’s intent or current place in life, with our own timelines.”Eco Lover
An Econista is a holistic woman who is part of the green movement, yes. But also understands that much of her lifestyle is equally just as dedicated to making healthier life choices for our environment as it is to her body, mind, and spirit (all of her goodies
or “her cookies”).
We must careful not to confuse our date’s intent or current place in life, with our own timelines. So I ask when putting so much effort in the timeframe does it take away the natural feel of the relationship and turn it into this forced and manipulated view of sex?
There is always a different excuse, constraint, or rule that tells women how to date. At this point, it feels like these rules produce overly drained and rehearsed women. Worse, it presents women as the merchant, with a surplus of commodities like sex and emotions, who are ready for the exchange (should you have the proper currency). The currency is your date’s lifelong commitment of loyalty and love.We must be careful not to confuse people's intent or current place in life, with our own timelines. Click To Tweet
Should women think of having sex (i.e. giving up the cookie) “too early” as something that’s going to make or break a relationship?
I’ve had every relationship type you can think of, and I can tell you from experience that the span of time between first meeting a guy and fucking him has zero bearing on the outcome of the relationship.
A man, regardless of when you give him sex, either wants a relationship or doesn’t. Holding back on sex doesn’t change a damn thing.
Instead, holding back on sex, for me at least, provides me the clarity to see him and myself, for who we truly are.
For me, I no longer rush into the ‘physical’ (sex) aspect of a relationship too quickly. I believe in holding things out for these reasons.
- It declares that I am not an object to be used for anyone’s pleasure whenever it’s convenient.
- It keeps me from objectifying other people and connecting with people who deserve love and respect.
- It provides me time to see what my date is really about (like are you really an overly seasoned ‘jerk’ chicken…or a smoothie (i.e. healthy for me)?
- If I am very much into a guy and would like to keep him around for a while, not giving the goodies right away allows us to value each other more. Building gradually and organically, without the complication of sex.
However, this art of holding back sex can be complicated. Some women (and I have done so…innocently) may use it as a tool, like a commodity or a device to manipulate a man into doing what they want. I believe women can get caught up in when to offer it (as a bargaining chip for a relationship or something deeper, etc).
Finally, sex isn’t something I take lightly. I value it because of the access it gives to me, my heart, and my mind (equitably) my world.
As Econistas I believe we shouldn’t restrict our discussions about the green movement to food choices and anti-littering. In fact, we should speak about being an Econista from a 360 perspective—including topics such as growth and healthy lifestyle choices (including sex and relationships).
If I want to have sex after six dates, it is my choice, but it would be because the man values the aforementioned (my heart, my mind, etc) and desires more than the sex. The sex for him is just icing on the cookie. The cookie is me, all of me. My bad, good, failures and successes. Eat that!